Surfer Mag. RUNMAN 69

Buy It While You Can

" Sensitive people beware. Runmans long-awaited third release, RUNMAN 69, has something to insult or offend just about everyone, from animal lovers to christians to people who spend good money to see good surfing. If this tape falls into the wrong hands, Runman can expect phone calls or covert investigations from any one of these agencies: DEA, AARP, LAPD, PRMC, EPA, SPCA, NAACP, PSAA, FBI and NOW, not to mention thousands of Dead Heads. Perhaps the only groups that won't be out to skin RUNMAN are the IBTC-who will approve of all the large- breasted women- and, strangely enough, music licensing groups such as BMI and ASCAP. Under pressures the public can only guess at, Runman decided to go totally legal with their music in this video. Yeah, it was kind of a wuss move, but they prove to be as good at finding suitable affordable obscure music as they used to be at stealing the better-known stuff. You won't hear any music from Grandmaster Flash or Lynryd Skynyrd in this video but you will hear Elvis Hitler singing Green Haze ,the immortal 415's stagger through Beer Run, and Mojo Nixon's singing about his favorite kind of cajun cookin'.You can question RUNMAN's overall taste but not their taste in music. Buying a RUNMAN video to see surfing is kind of like buying Apocalypse Now to learn about Indo-Chinese history. With a few exceptions, the surfing in RUNMAN 69 is pretty much like the first two RUNMAN videos: The bulk of the surfing is shot at beachbreaks, reefs and points in L.A. and Ventura Counties. Some of these places don't break very often and are considered semi-secret. Halfway through the movie, ex-Surf Punk and humble video narrator Drew Steele faces the camera and accuses this magazine of exposing these spots. SURFER usually doesn't name places like Dume and Supertubes,so the accusation is unfounded and even hypocritical, coming from the exploiters who've made these places semi-famous in their movies. Of course ,when you say RUNMAN, you say wipeouts. RUNMAN has dozens of glassy-eyed disciples who will sacrifice cars, credit ratings, reputations, pets, and physical health to make their bros' videos the much gorier. RUNMAN 69 doesn't feature the sheer number of disasters that clotted RUNMAN TWO, but this time ther's quality rather than quantity. There are some serious dry-rock, broken-board thrashings at the points, and epic, dry-sand Zuma Beach scene toward the end that's perfectly scored by the song I'm Surfing On Heroin. Watching this video you have to wonder: If Ever-Ready Eddie and his skate had been squashed by a Cadillac as he shot through a red light, how would RUNMAN have felt? Would they have filmed the funeral. It's time to sum up and be responsible (if RUNMAN can do it with their music, then we can do it in a review). There's enough mean, debauched and evil stuff in RUNMAN 69 to make Surfer magazine a little leery about giving it a good review. Unfortunately, quite a few members of the Surfer staff happen to like RUNMAN's strange sense of humor, but we realize there's stuff in this video that could seriously offend and disturb people. Surf-shop owners should definitely preview this video before showing it to customers, and RUNMAN 69 probably shouldn't be seen by kids who don't have very liberal and understanding parents."

Who wrote it , we do not know?